90 Day Cleanse

Day 5: Tummy Troubles

Wow this is a funny freeze frame. I was going to change it but thought well fuck it, it is kind of funny, let’s just leave it. No idea what I was trying to do in this moment, but you CAN clearly see the piece of salad in my teeth that I tried to get out at least 3 times (unsuccessfully) over the course of the video. There are some jobs that ya just need floss to do. Anyway, enjoy!

OK, so I’ve been paying for my misdeeds last night today…but not horribly. My stomach has been a little grumpy all day and I look like I’m 3 months pregnant (Mom, if you’re reading this, that was a joke. I’m not pregnant). That being said, am I leaping up and down to go back to Gjelina? Ermmm…that’d be a fat HELL NO!

I woke up at 5 am and had trouble falling back asleep, and was honestly pretty tired all day. It’s also Day 2 of my period (usually the heaviest), which doesn’t help. That being said, my Whoop (fancy schmancy fitness tracker that I’m low-key obsessed with. HMU if you ever want to geek out on fitness/health data) said I actually had the best recovery yet this week (recovery is on a 0-100 scale, with 100 being the best)! So I hauled my ass out of bed and did my normal workout. And as always, felt better for it šŸ™‚


I successfully got back on the healthy train here. And made a concerted effort to detox/cleanse and also MIX IT UP (yeah!). I made a smoothie with kale, spinach, spirulina (detoxifying sea vegetable), chlorella (also a detoxifying sea veggie), matcha, cinnamon, coconut meat/water (not 100% that this is OK but felt like it probably was??), a little monkfruit, a little Himalayan pink salt, hemp seeds, chia seeds, raw almond butter, and some ice. I typically make a similar smoothie with lucuma (powdered fruit with a sweet taste) and tocos (rice bran granules, non-compliant) and tried to modify that this time. I try to keep my smoothies pretty thick and ice cream texture-y which makes them (in my humble opinion) nicer to eat. I also know it’s better digestively to chew your smoothies to signal to your brain that you’re eating, which gets your digestive juices going (pro tip!).

It was very green, and I found it quite pretty. Put some hemp seeds on top for all of y’alls viewing pleasure, and also found the texture surprisingly nice. Unfortunately, I think the cold temperature actually did upset my stomach… made some ginger tea with lemon and matcha to try to soothe my angry tum.

Super greens smoothie!


OK so by the time I made lunch around 1 PM I was STARVING and reaaaal hangry (hunger + anger for those of you that are unfamiliar with the terrifying phenomenon that is “hanger”). I felt like I went straight cro-magnon. Must. Have. Food. Now. Made some quinoa cooked in bone broth, sliced up some garlic and panfried that with some kale, then tossed in the leftover roasted veg from yesterday (carrots and brussels). Actually quite scrumptious! And best yet, the hanger monster was sated (at least for a time).

Quinoa cooked in bone broth, garlic sauteed kale in coconut oil + the leftover carrots and brussels. Yummers.


So you think I would have learned my lesson, huh? And that of course, I wouldn’t eat restaurant food the second day after yesterday’s catastrophe? Well, we have a friend staying with us who wanted to do a family dinner and order in food. I did choose the restaurant and chose one that had options that were compliant (except for oil). It actually honestly worked out really well and I’m feeling fine now (was much more careful). We ordered from Akasha in Culver City, an awesome family-owned business (I’m actually friends with the daughter of the woman who owns it, Akasha. Total sidenote — her name is also super cool (Amrit) and she has a badass CPG newsletter called Indie CPG). Got a salmon salad, didn’t eat the accompanying tomatoes (nightshade) plus a green veggie soup. Feeling good about my choices. + some turmeric tea with lemon. Still feeling a little bloated, but to be expected I suppose. And unfortunately also kind of gassy. Thank god for social distancing, I guess? The better news: no more tummy ache for now šŸ™‚

Arugula salad with salmon, cucumbers, and tomatoes (picked the tomatoes out — hate to waste, but there wasn’t an option to customize when I ordered). Ditched the dressing but kept it for the pic šŸ˜‰
Yummy veggie soup that felt v clean (saw that it was for sure gluten-free and dairy-free). My roommate’s girlfriend also made some tasty side salad with garlic and a little oil (which was olive unfortunately but that was the only major flub).

How’d I Do?

Rating: 7/10

I think I did pretty well today except for the “hanger monster” moment midday. OH I also forgot to mention I had a petite snack right before dinner — tried to make a egg-free tigernut pancake (since I know no nuts/starchy vegetables with animal protein) with flax… turned out very weird and chewy. It wasn’t great, but filling and healthy, so honestly, I’d probably do it again. It was, however, not even a little photogenic, and I burned one side, so it made it to my mouth before the camera. I obviously could have done better if I hadn’t ordered in with my friends (the questionable oils), but I kept it pretty clean and didn’t even eat the dressing that came with the salad, so I think I did well considering. Going to give myself a pass on this one.

Realizing lately how hard I can be on myself (my gf Jocelyn actually pointed this one out). I’ve been this way my entire life, but as a result don’t leave a lot of wiggle room for anything short of perfection, which is (I know) unrealistic. So I know that I’m not setting myself up for success by doing so. Trying to figure out a middle ground that’s most of the way where I want to be but leaves room for…well, being human. Until tomorrow.